My Blog
Friday, 8 May 2020
Trust me!

This is a time like no other. Unfortunately, I have no words to describe what I feel about it. To use the word “positive,” as in positive outcome doesn’t seem right, since so many are suffering and even dying. However, I keep feeling that a better world is going to evolve from this difficult time. Every day on TV or FaceBook I see people helping others. I see courage and sacrifice. I sense a “oneness” that I didn’t before.

I have friends on both sides of the political spectrum, but we don’t discuss issues. We just agree we need to work together or things will get worse. Which they will for a few months because of the virus. But at some point, I believe we’ll find answers, hopefully sooner rather than later.

I have had “feelings” all my life that others didn’t believe or understand. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard the words, “Well, that’s what you told me. I’ll trust you the next time I get into a funk.”

So if you’re in a funk, trust me, a better world is evolving.

 

 

 


Posted by libbygrandy at 10:30 AM EDT
Thursday, 30 April 2020
Toilet Paper

I’m enjoying California’s “stay at home” edict. For the first time in my life, I don’t have to think about what to wear when I go out or, for that matter, what I look like, period. Actually, with my blue mask, I tend to look like a bank robber.

I’m not in pajamas but in what they call a house dress. I feel comfortable, sitting on our front porch in it, waving at people walking by. They don’t notice that I don’t have mascara on. They just wave back. I admit I still put on lipstick and comb my hair. Speaking of hair, it’s growing taller and taller. I rather like it. Some people my age have thinning hair. Not me. Lots of white hair.

What is the point of this rambling? I’m trying to focus on what I’m grateful for, rather than . . . . well, you know.

I’m also finding things to laugh about. For example, I was so proud of myself for ordering toilet paper weeks ago, feeling assured that there would be no lack of toilet paper in our house. It came yesterday. A small package arrived in the mail. Inside were six reams of toilet paper, four inches by three inches. So cute. And so small. My daughter and I couldn’t stop laughing.

Hope that you all are focusing on your blessings, too. And if you need a little bit of toilet paper, and I do mean a little bit, give me a call. lol

 


Posted by libbygrandy at 12:35 PM EDT
Updated: Thursday, 30 April 2020 12:38 PM EDT
Saturday, 25 April 2020
Hope

Hope. A fragile emotion these days. It is easy to feel hopeless when we turn on the news. This is a strange and difficult time for so many people. However, giving in to despair should not be an option. 

Positive, creative energy is powerful in itself. I also am an advocate for prayer. A friend who has had an horrendous time with her ailing husband told me that she could actually feel the thoughts and prayers that I sent her every day. (He’s doing better.)

Empathy is admirable but only feeling the emotional pain of others doesn’t help them. There may be nothing we can physically do, but listening and letting people know they are in our thoughts and prayers can make a difference. After my husband died, I received so much loving support from friends, family and even strangers. It gave me strength to get through each day. Like my friend, I could feel their love. 

If enough good souls regain faith and hope and believe we are going to get through this profound time and create a better world, that creative energy may actually make it happen. 

One can only hope.

 


Posted by libbygrandy at 12:08 PM EDT
Updated: Saturday, 25 April 2020 12:11 PM EDT
Monday, 6 April 2020
The End is the Beginning

I have hesitated to write a blog because I’m as confused and uneasy these days as everyone else. Then I remembered that I started writing blogs to let people know they aren’t alone in regard to their feelings. So here I am.

I have sensed for a while that this is a time of transition. What I didn’t anticipate is that the transition would be so profound and uncomfortable, emotionally. The virus has shaken everyone to the core. 

Hunkering down has not been a problem for me. I love quiet time to think, write, pray. This is a first-time experience for many people, however. People live such busy lives that alone time is alien to them. Until now. What they learn about themselves and others during this time may be surprising and revealing. 

On my website I have an article under Inspiration Stories entitled, We Always Have a Choice. Self-pity or gratitude. Fear or trust. The mind can’t hold two thoughts simultaneously. When we choose gratitude and trust, a certain peace comes. 

The title of a manuscript that I will publish one day is, “The End is the Beginning.” 

That is what I believe about this profound time. 

But what do I know.  Lol

  

http://www.libbygrandy.com/


Posted by libbygrandy at 8:07 PM EDT
Updated: Monday, 6 April 2020 8:14 PM EDT
Wednesday, 26 February 2020
No Laughing Matter?

I have been thinking about my family (most of whom have died) and laughing to myself. Why laughing? I mean death isn’t a laughing matter, right? I’ll let you all decide.

     Last summer everyone in my family was at my house. There were many young people, and I was suddenly inspired to talk to them about life. So I made them sit down in the living room and listen to me. What I wanted to do was reassure them that growing old is not something to be dreaded. That, in many ways, it is freeing, in the sense you don’t feel like you have to please everyone. Or worry about your family as, if you’ve done your job as mother and grandmother, everyone is able to handle their own challenges. They just need your loving support and trust.

     Anyway, that was my goal. However, I made a poor choice of words for my first sentences.  I said, “All right, guys, this is what I want to tell you. You are going to grow old and die.” There was a stunned silence and then my twenty-four-year old, granddaughter, Kristan, said. “Thanks Mamie, that’s very inspirational.” When the laughter finally died down, I continued on a more positive note.

     I come from two large families. The O’Flaherty clan had three girls and six boys, the Stoner family had six girls and one boy, my father. Except for two, they lived to be old and relatively healthy. I find reassuring that most also retained clear minds until they “went home.” My Uncle Dan lived to be 99 and after a stroke, he was comatose for several months. He wasn’t suffering, but the family didn’t understand why it was taking so long. Another aunt was with Hospice for five months, bedridden but in no pain. I would visit the hospital every day, go to her bedside and ask, “How are you doing, Aunt May?” and she would say, in a gentle voice, “Just waiting.” When the doctor called me at work to tell me she had finally died, I heard myself say, “Are you sure?”

     When I asked my Aunt Maude why it had taken both so long to die, she matter-of-factly said, “You can’t count on old people to die.”

     You now know what to say when I’m 105 and still blogging.

      


http://ow.ly/heAg30kxmJx

 

  

 

 


Posted by libbygrandy at 11:10 AM EST
Updated: Wednesday, 26 February 2020 11:33 AM EST
Tuesday, 30 July 2019
Dead and Gone

 

I’ve sat with a number of people during their last hours, and it has been inspiring rather than depressing, often because of their last words. I remember one said, “Thanks for everything.” A friend told me her mother said, “I’m so happy.”

 

There is also an unexpected emotion when someone dies. It’s not logical as we intellectually know that eventually everyone dies, but we still often feel surprised when it actually happens. We tend to wonder, “How can so and so not be here anymore?” It’s more of a feeling than a thought.

 

Perhaps we feel that way because they still exist, just not in the physical world. I’ve talked to many people who have “heard” from loved ones after they died. I can totally relate. There is also the feeling that they are still close, a feeling that I really don’t have words for.

 

If any of you have similar experiences one day and worry that you may be going crazy, get in touch with me. We can happily be crazy together. Happy, because it is the kind of loving feeling that is very comforting as well as reassuring, in the sense that perhaps the truth is—one day when we are dead and gone, we won’t really be gone.

 

 

Here is a poem I wrote entitled “From One Who Has Gone On”

 

Yesterday I was here

to hold you in my heart.

Today I still am near

although we are apart.

 

There is the thinnest veil

through which you cannot see.

But if you could, your heart would sing

because you would—see me!

 

I have gone on ahead

to where we all began.

You once were where I am now

and will be once again.

 

So cry your tears of loss

for days that now are gone.

But one day you will understand

and sing a joyful song.

 

 

 

http://ow.ly/heAg30kxmJx

 

 

 

 


Posted by libbygrandy at 12:04 PM EDT
Updated: Tuesday, 30 July 2019 12:20 PM EDT
Wednesday, 26 June 2019
Lordy, Lordy

 

As many of you know, it has been a rather difficult time for me, but the love and support of everyone has helped me arrive at an “okay” place. Except in one area—the news. I wake up feeling relatively calm, and then I make the mistake of turning on the TV and very different feelings fill my mind and heart.

 

What are those feelings? Depending on the day, they are too often anger and despair. Now I’m not an angry person. You have to push me pretty far to make me truly angry. Mainly because feeling angry makes me unhappy. And I seldom have feelings of despair. Sadness, of course, worry bordering on fear, yes. But despair—not that often and not for that long.

 

I refuse to believe that this is the “new normal,” but neither is it the “old normal.” I see people on TV exhibiting hatred, unkindness, lack of civility, etc. Apparently these people have always been out there. I just never had to see them. I certainly never had to interact with them.

 

I was raised in a loving family, surrounded by caring people. They didn’t always agree on things, but they treated one another with respect. The men in my family were honorable and protective. Believe it or not, I don’t remember hearing a cuss word growing up. I’m sure they were muttered when I wasn’t around, but those words weren’t spoken in front of women or children.

  

By now, I’m sure you are thinking that I’m hopelessly old-fashioned. That’s all right with me if it means caring for others, helping others and not upsetting others, even if I don’t agree with them.

 

So what do I do after I turn off the TV and the news? I focus on family, friends, and gratitude for the blessings in my life.

 

And I remind myself that “this too will pass” and hopefully lead to a better world if we work together in a civil, thoughtful way.

 

But Lordy, Lordy (as we say in the south when we can’t think of anything else to say).

 

 

 

http://ow.ly/heAg30kxmJx

 

 


Posted by libbygrandy at 1:26 PM EDT
Updated: Monday, 30 December 2019 9:57 PM EST
Tuesday, 11 June 2019
Small Town/Social Media

 

Social media has made the big world into a small town. I lived in a small town in Virginia for over forty years. I loved it and still have friends and family there. There are positive and negative aspects of a small town. On one hand, through what we refer to as “gossip,” most everyone knows your private business. On the other hand, consequently, there is compassionate outreach that can be both helpful and comforting.

 

It is impossible to go into any store without people reaching out to you in some way. One bizarre incident I remember is when our dear Siamese cat, Desdemona, was hit by a car when she ran across the road one morning. When we woke up and found her, it was a sad day for our family. At noontime, I had to go to the bank, and when the teller asked how my day was going, I told her about Desdemona. To our surprise, a voice called out from behind a semi-wall, a place where people could have privacy to prepare their bank statements. A male voice said, “I did it. I killed the cat!”

 

Then, a young man appeared, looking distraught. He explained that it had been dark and Desdemona had run out in front of his car. He had actually stopped and knocked on our door to tell us, but no one heard him. Later in the day, I met him at our babysitter’s house and again had to reassure him that it wasn’t his fault. Soon half the town knew about the tragedy and felt sorry for both of us. I can still hear that distressed voice calling out, “I did it. I killed the cat!”

 

I now live in California and don’t know my neighbors’ private affairs, but I do know the country and world’s business. If you want to know about anything or anyone, just go to the search bar, and the chances are good you will find what you are wondering about. The positive aspect is that places like Facebook provide everyone the opportunity to share their lives or offer condolences, if necessary. That happened after my husband’s death, and it was very comforting.

 

That is why I believe that social media has made the world into a small town.

 

 

http://ow.ly/heAg30kxmJx

 


Posted by libbygrandy at 1:25 PM EDT
Updated: Friday, 14 June 2019 1:40 PM EDT
Wednesday, 29 May 2019
A Profound Time

 

It has been, and still is, a very difficult time, globally and personally for many people. At first, my friends and I would talk about other times that we got through, but I began to understand that this is not just “one of those times.” That it is not just difficult, it is profound.

 

How so? It has been a time of transparency. People who have gotten away with things all their lives have been “found out.” Some actually are in jail. Personally, many have had to endure situations that they have never had to face before. They have had to find a new perspective about their life. I count myself as one of those. Everyone is being given the opportunity to look at themselves and their beliefs honestly and make the right choices.

 

Another positive aspect is education in areas that we have taken for granted. I thought I knew how our government worked. After all, didn’t I get an A in Civics in high school? Well, I’m beginning to get the picture. I have a lot to learn, and although it is depressing to watch the news, I learn something new every day.

 

This blog could end up too long, so I’ll just close on this thought. My prayer is that we will get through this time to a better place. That we will find a way to work together, if only for survival. And when we do, we hopefully will build a better world for our children.

 

This is a profound time. 

 

 

http://ow.ly/heAg30kxmJx

 

 

 

 


Posted by libbygrandy at 5:19 PM EDT
Updated: Wednesday, 29 May 2019 5:26 PM EDT
Wednesday, 15 May 2019
My Solution

 

I have a problem that I suspect every person in the country, to some degree, has. I have friends, even one or two family members, who are on the opposite side of the political spectrum. This has never been a problem before, because honest discussions about politics have never come between us. 

 

These are good people who believe, as I do, that it is important to help and protect others, particularly children and other vulnerable individuals. I’ve seen them go out of their way to do so over the years. We may have disagreed on political issues, but our conversations always ended on a friendly note, usually with laughter and the words, “love you.”

 

That is probably how they would end today, so the problem is mine, not theirs. I am feeling too emotional to have a good, objective conversation. Consequently, I find myself hesitating to contact them. That is not good. One important reason why is because some of them are having serious health problems and they need my love and support.

 

So, for the moment, this is my solution. We do not talk politics. If inadvertently an issue comes up, I immediately change the subject. And being smart as well as good people, they do the same. One day, I truly believe this will change. But until it does, I just have to take a deep breath and remind myself: This too will pass.

 

Please, dear God.

 

 

 

http://ow.ly/heAg30kxmJx

 


Posted by libbygrandy at 2:16 PM EDT
Updated: Thursday, 16 May 2019 11:33 AM EDT

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